Solomon Grundy Vs. Superman Returns

superman_returns.jpgSuperman Returns (Warner Home Video)

Solomon Grundy finally get to see new Superman movie. Him expect lots but think movie not deliver. Make promises. Lie. Make Solomon Grundy angry!

Solomon Grundy think problem start with script. Try too hard to be like original, suffer for it. Solomon Grundy not think bad thing. But him think some change not bad thing either. Solomon Grundy once made of flesh. Now him made of peat bog. Not dying a good thing, Solomon Grundy think (even if Brainiac right and peat bog mostly manure run-off).

Solomon Grundy think, visually, movie quite stunning. Best if see like Solomon Grundy did, in I-MAX. Find himself actually rooting for Superman. This impress Solomon Grundy. Make him forget how much he wish to crush Superman and Superman best friend Alan Scott.

Solomon Grundy come back to earth, though. Many boring parts. Solomon Grundy hear committee when he hear dialogue. Wonder why can't come up better plot than Lex land scam. Solomon Grundy feel: been there, done that.

Solomon Grundy think Spacey poor choice replace Hackman. Spacey not horrible, but Solomon Grundy wonder why not hire Hackman if all Spacey do is Hackman-lite? Not make sense to Solomon Grundy.

Solomon Grundy, by way, know Luthor hate Hackman performance. Say Hackman nothing like him. This part reason why Solomon Grundy love Hackman performance. Would love see Hackman play Grodd next. Solomon Grundy tired of hearing how "easy" is to take Gorilla City. If so easy, why Grodd still second-fiddle in Legion of Doom? And if him so psychic, why he not figure out yet Gorilla City no like him (and Solomon Grundy hear that)?

Solomon Grundy think Routh OK and like see what him do with better script. Think Posey best thing in movie. But Lois Lane chirp not speak. Solomon Grundy think when first see Bosworth, fill her with peat bog. Make her Mrs. Solomon Grundy. Then Solomon Grundy hear Bosworth talk. Solomon Grundy then know what mean phrase "Hell is other Solomon Grundies."

Solomon Grundy like recommend movie but cannot. Him think good scenes too few, and movie too long -- even for zombie with plenty of time on hands.

Grade: C - John Flowers

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Mr. Flowers is a man with a few letters - from his work at Time Magazine to his very dedicated dedication to pursuing his literary pursuits on his very serious blog.

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