Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark
Foxwoods Theatre, NYC
Between the confused book that’s there and the music that you wish weren't, it's difficult to say who failed Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark more: Julie Taymor or Bono and The Edge. Considering the combined track records of these entertainment heavyweights, it is shocking that they should get together only to deliver an overpriced, finely polished turd dressed up as a musical, but after years of delays and an unprecedented seven months of previews, the result cannot match the hype that has surrounded it. Fast forward to the action sequences, because there’s nothing else to see here.
Taymor, an undisputed master of theatrical design and ingenuity, has proven that she is better utilized when limited to the fields she knows. Among her many failings as the piece's book writer (including the introduction of a new villain with the lame name Swiss Miss), she misguidedly foists a figure out of Greek mythology, Arachne, into this comic book world, and while this provides an excuse to create some stunning moments of aerial acrobatics, it demonstrates both her deficient understanding of the genre and a lack of respect for dedicated fans of the series. She even has the audacity to credit herself for "Mask Design"… Steve Ditko, co-creator of Spider-Man and the original artist, may deserve a mention as well.
On the whole, Taymor's focus appears to have been lopsidedly visual, allowing for multiple embarrassing moments of staging and dialogue that would not have slipped past a more balanced director. In the end, Taymor seems completely indifferent to the subject and could have very well sought to realize these incredible effects without exploiting the name of one of America’s favorite superheroes. Being given the thankless job of undoing all her wrong landed on the unlucky shoulders of Philip Wm. McKinley, whose improvements hold the same impact as putting a band-aid on a rotting corpse.
It turns out 22 Grammys don’t qualify you to compose musicals; Bono and The Edge deliver one of the season’s most forgettable original scores. Musical theater fans and U2 groupies alike are bound to be disappointed by this collection of half-baked songs that lack any signs of inspiration or sincerity and are forgettable even as they are being sung. "Rise Above" marks the score’s one slight veer away from completely faceless anonymity, leaving the rest to wallow in the worst realms of pseudo-alternative rock. Bono and The Edge appear not to have taken this task too seriously; audiences must suffer through their utter mediocrity while waiting to get to the good stuff.
Redemption and an excuse for this show’s existence are found only in the fantastic stunts that have never before been attempted on a Broadway stage, making the real heroes of the production Scott Rogers (Aerial Design) and Jaque Paquin (Aerial Rigging Design) as well as those brave souls who compose a small army of flying Spider-Men. The aerial effects are astonishing and, aside from the same instinct that leads to rubbernecking a fantastic freeway accident, provide the only legitimate reason for buying a ticket. The feats these masters accomplish are likely to outlive this production and find more worthy homes in spectaculars of the future. Daniel Ezralow (Choreography and Aerial Choreography) directs magic in the air but can’t make anything fly when his dancers are on the ground.
The actors are left hanging with what little is there to play with and, what’s more, all that isn’t -- mainly a soul. Both Reeve Carney (Peter Parker/Spider-Man) and Jennifer Damiano (Mary Jane) strain to hit their notes and find a heart in their words as they are lost inside the machine of this massive contraption. Patrick Page (Norman Osborn/Green Goblin) is the only actor on the stage who seems to have found a way to be comfortable inside the beast, shooting out self-deprecating humor at the production’s expense. Page’s bits of what seem to be ad-libs are the most human moments in the entire show.
Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark may be billed as a Broadway musical, but it is not one. Rather, it is some unlovable hybrid of Cirque Du Soleil, a forgettable rock concert, and artistic "vision" gone terribly wrong, all plastered onto the world of Spider-Man for no apparent reason. Tourist traffic may keep the monstrosity afloat but, in the end, even Spidey can’t save this ill-fated train from wrecking.
Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is playing at Foxwoods Theatre, 213 West 42nd St., NYC.