op ed

Dear Iran,

I’m sorry that no one in my country seems able to pronounce your name correctly. Despite it only consisting of four letters and two syllables when written in English, nobody from either political party — no pundits, no media outlets, no public figure at all — seems able to enunciate your name correctly. It seems that everyone in the United States suddenly develops a twangy Southern accent when talking about you, butchering your name by saying it the same way one might answer the question, "What did you do at the track this morning?"

"I ran."

Contrary to this odd dialect choice, Americans do not all sound like Jodi Foster's character from Silence of the Lambs. There is actually a wide variety of accents scattered throughout our vast nation — as I would assume is also the case with the many peoples and regions of your country.