If when you were a child--either with Mr. Wizard or alone--you had passed a magnet over a pile of iron filings, you would have unknowingly created the action scenes of Michael Bayâ€™s latest blockbuster, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Yes, for what seems like the first half hour of this exploration of the psychotic lives of former Hasbro toys, the screen is filled with the pounding of metal upon metal accompanied by very loud kabooms on the soundtrack. Read more »
SAN MIGUEL DE ALLENDE -- Watching The Proposal in a Mexican multiplex does supply this romantic comedy about immigration with an unsettling moral twinge. So letâ€™s quickly address the little thatâ€™s wrong with Sandra Bullockâ€™s latest.
As youâ€™ve garnered from the commercials or viewing the film -- as much of the female American movie-going public has already -- the visa application of Margaret Tate (Bullock), a high-end editor at a major publishing company, has been denied, and sheâ€™s being deported.
Tate: "Deported? Itâ€™s not like Iâ€™m an immigrant or something. Iâ€™m Canadian."
To remedy the situation, Tate blackmails her assistant Andrew Paxton (Ryan Reynolds), a full-blooded American, into marrying her. Read more »
American filmmakers have finally gotten over their fear of the penis. This once unpopular organ is now being showcased in one blockbuster after another, frequently in comedies such as Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but also in superhero sagas, most notably in Watchmen.
The latter exposure caused moviechopshop.com's Shep Ramsey to pen "In Defense of Dr. Manhattan's Penis: Why American Audiences Need to Grow the @$#% Up."
Within his astute essay, Ramsey argues, "Now, I'm not going to deny that there is certainly a good deal of full-frontal shots of the film's walking A-bomb character, Dr. Manhattan, played in the film by Billy Crudup. Read more »
Some of my best friends were transsexuals.
Actually, only one. Back in the seventies, Liz Eden, whose life was redacted in Dog Day Afternoon, befriended me.
I still remember how Liz shared late one night, on a Number 6 subway platform, that her operation was so successful, she was capable of fooling Italian truck drivers (I.T.D.s). Having an I.T.D. stand by the quality of your vagina was sort of like getting the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval back then. Read more »
Youâ€™re either a Jarmusch fan or youâ€™re not; thereâ€™s not much of a middle ground in rating the value of his work, and his most recent release isnâ€™t going to change that trend. The Limits of Control dabbles in the realm between the real and surreal with a heavy hand of allegory, depicting a representative struggle between the powers that be and the more humanist forces in the world.
The pacing of this film is slow and drawn out, half of its running time being dedicated to watching Isaach De BankolÃ© (Lone Man) [above left, with Tilda Swinton] sit and drink two espressos in separate cups, a quirk which he repeatedly insists upon. Read more »
Terminator Salvation asks the ever-important question, "What is it that makes us human?"
The query, inspired by the discovery of a man best described as "flesh and machine," sadly is not addressed to a major philosophical mind such as Claude LÃ©vi-Strauss's. Instead, we get a bunch of pondering cardboard characters looking anguished before they revert to their primary facial expression, most ably denoted as "less anguished."
A subject that might have been better delved into is "what is it that makes a good screenplay," especially for a film that few were actually begging for. Please note that the spin-off TV series was canceled this week by Fox for poor ratings. Read more »
My Life in Ruins was the Tribeca Film Festival's closing night offering. If favors weren't exchanged for this tepid comedy to garner this honored spot, someone working for TFF has negligible taste -- or even worse, a rather low opinion of the audience the festival is attracting.
Nia Vardalos, best known as the writer/star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, appears here, with a bit less charm, as Georgia, an American academic in search of her "mojo." Read more »
What was most surprising about attending the opening-day, 9:45 A.M. screening of Angels & Demons was not that 200 or so folks had shown up, but how many of these attendees were wolfing down buttered popcorn for breakfast. Hadn't any watched The Biggest Loser or La Grande Bouffe?
As for the 138-minute Ron Howard adaptation of Dan Brown's superbly entertaining novel? It's brisk, brutal, and absorbing. Several ticket holders even applauded as the end credits rolled. Read more »
But if your offspring really has a fetish for hole-digging, look no further than Vegas: Based on a True Story. For the final hour or so of this venture, your loved ones will be able to giggle and coo and applaud as a Vegas couple with gambling, smoking, and drinking problems shovel up their backyard in search of a suitcase containing a million dollars. Read more »
The eponymous tot of The Fish Child (El niño pez) is apparently part of a Paraguayan religious belief that a little boy who lives in a lake will take care of your dead children. To initiate this aquatic babysitting relationship, grieving parents set up little tributes composed of plastic dolls and gewgaws on fences and by bodies of water. In a beautifully effective moment of magical realism, a teenager, Lala (Inés Efron), eases herself into Lake Ypoa and communes with this Merboy. Otherwise, The Fish Child leaves its flippers behind and the film remains rather earthbound.
If you had any doubts about whether Zac Efron is major star material, just watch the first few minutes of Burr Steers' 17 Again.
A young, shirtless teen is shooting hoops by himself in a school gymnasium. His sweaty, tightly muscled, yet graceful body is flawless, and then the camera reveals the young man's face. At that very moment, there was a melting "Ahhhhhh!!!!!!" that arose from the audience at the AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13. It was as if "Love Potion No. 9" had been spritzed on the popcorn. "It's Zac!!!" Read more »
To translate Jade Goody into American, you require a dollop of Jerry Springer, Paris Hilton in a proper trailer devoid of the redemptive qualities of wealth (because class cannot be bought), and that uncertain something which media exposure confers upon the unwitting or the needy. Jade, as she became known, came to prominence on Big Brother seven years ago, a reality television series on which she only came in fourth. Winners past and present have long since burned up their fifteen minutes of celebrity, but she, initially by default, and later by design, became a beacon of hope to many young girls: The poster child for those who have been told the world belongs to others, the prettier and more privileged than they. Read more »
You don't have to be a little girl or a gay man for A Chorus Line to be the central inspiration of your life, although it certainly helps.
Zach: Tell me about the Bronx.
Diana: What's to tell about the Bronx? It's uptown and to the right.
Zach: What made you start dancing?
Diana: Who knows? I'm Puerto Rican. We jump around a lot. Read more »
There has long been a debate among English-speaking anime fans about the best way to watch Japanese cartoons. While some believe they should only ever be watched in the original Japanese with English subtitles (assuming you havenâ€™t learned Japaneseâ€¦yet), the other has no qualms about watching these â€™toons with a dubbed English voice track. Read more »
Shakespeare went canine, too, when evaluating humanity in Timon of Athens:
"I am misanthropos, and hate mankind,
For thy part, I do wish thou wert a dog,
That I might love thee something." Read more »